who would win a fight . . .
by eternalpessimist
Summary: finishing the title...between Raist., Caramon, Tanis, Sturm, and Tas. This is my first *official* fanfic, I wrote it to please the slave driver Tenken. Flame me if you must.


Who would win in a fight between

Raistlin, Caramon, Sturm, Tanis, and Tas?

composed by K-Chan

Here it is, the fanfic you all have been waiting for.

It's a normal day in Krynn. The elves are being snotty, the dwarves are locked up by themselves, the knights are being persecuted, and half the companions are once again wandering aimlessly around. Tanis half-Elven, Caramon + Raistlin Majere, and Sturm Brightblade are walking around silently, when there is a noise behind them.

"No!" Sturm cries.

"It can't be. " Tanis moans.

"Oh shut up!!" Raistlin grumbles. 

They all give him a dirty look while Caramon reflects. "I thought you killed him Raist."

"I tried, but the little worm survived the Cataclysm."

"I thought he died in Tarsis." 

"Didn't he get smashed by a giants foot?" Sturm said.

"YES!!!" They yelled at him.

"I'll just have to tell him to go away." Sturm volunteered.

"Oh no, Brightblade.YOU Are not going to kill him by yourself" Raistlin pushes Sturm with his staff.

"You already got to kill him once!" Tanis complained.

"he's still alive isn't he?"

Their arguments were interrupted as a sound arose from the bushes. They all flashed deadly looks at each other as a small figure emerged from the bush behind them. They stood there gaping at the Scourge of Ansalon, the Object of All Their Nightmares. . . .Tasslehoff Burrfoot, Hero of the Lance.

"I guys. You look awfully mad. What were you talking about?"

"Which one of us gets to kill you." Raistlin hissed.

Tas's face lit up. "Really? Oh, I hope it'll be you Raistlin. I love being magicked!" He frowned. "But wizards have the worst luck in killing me. Did I tell you about the wizard who summoned a demon up from the Abyss to kill me, only I was working with the demon. I should start from the begging. See, I found this ring - "

"Just let me kill him now." Caramon shouted.

"Wait," Tanis stopped them. "TAs has a point. Raistlin can use magic. We can't"

"I cannot wield a sword either. But if you don't think you can go up against me, Half -Elven, by all means, I can kill the kender myself." 

Meanwhile Tas was starting in on his story about the wholly mammoth. Sturm drew his sword. "Es Sulerus Uth Mithas. My honor is my life, therefore I take it upon my honor to kill the kender."

" oh no you don't." Caramon swung at Sturm. "I get to kill him, " He informed the comatose Knight.

"Oh good job Caramon. We're killing the kender. Or can you not tell the difference between a kender and a knight?"

"I don't understand Raist," Caramon began.

"Oh by the gods Caramon! If I hear you say that one more time - no, I'm not even going to take that chance. " Raistlin's hourglass eyes glowed and he pointed his staff at Caramon, and muttered in the arcane language. Caramon promptly fell limp on the ground.

"What in the Abyss did you do that for?" Tanis yelled.

Tas stopped in mid story. He looked at the lifeless bodies of his friends. "Were you guys even listening to me? I guess I have to start over."

"Shut up!!!" Raisty and Tanis yelled.

Tas pouted and harrumphed on a boulder. 

Tanis sighed. "Ok, let's make a deal, I'll try first, then you try, then I'll try, so on and so on."

"What makes you think I can't kill the little nuisance? "

"I'm not saying that Raistlin."

"Why do you get to go first, Half - Elven?" Raistlin moved dangerously close. 

"Gods fine, you go, then I'll go."

"Again, what makes you think I can't kill him?"

"By Paladine, I'm getting tired of your crap Raistlin." HE mimicked him in a high pitched voice, "I have to think about everything. I'm a mage blah blah. I drink tea, blah blah blah."

"Look who's talking Mr. IN Love With My Half-Sister."

"That's it Raistlin. I'll go kill Tas, then you can talk about Kitiara all you want." He looked towards Tas, who was rearranging his pouches.

"Oh no you don't half-Elven!" Raistlin whirled his staff at Tanis, who ducked it and kicked Raistlin's knee. The two immediately began to brawl in the dirt, all the while telling each other how they were going to kill Tas.

Tas watched them. "Wow! Raistlin's pretty strong. Ouch. not strong enough." He jumped off the boulder, pouches flapping, and walked over to his fighting friends. "Stop it! You two are acting like gully dwarves. I know you're arguing about who has to kill me, but, I'm willing to not be killed in order for you guys to stop fighting." Tas said nobly. Hw waited for the two to stop fighting. He lost his stature. "Were you listening to me? I said you could STOP FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!" Tas began to get mad. He watched them fight awhile longer. Anger burned inside him. The other two didn't notice him.

"I get to kill him!!!"

"No, I do!!"

"ME!!"

"I've known him longer"

"All the more reason for me to kill him."

"I said I get to!"

"Well, you're stupid. I-"

They both fell silent as the wooden surface of a hoopak collided with their heads. 

Tas listened. Silence. He smiled. Tasslehoff tied Caramon, Sturm, Raistlin, and Tanis, all to trees in front of his boulder. 

And gagged them.

When they all regained consciousness, he began his stories all over again.

note : NO companions were harmed during the making of this fanfic.

By the way, I know this is not my best work, but I wrote it all in about 10 minutes to make the slave driver Tenken happy. Hope it's acceptable Tenken.

R&R if you want.


End file.
